I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
