you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
