But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
