Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
