It's Friday. Sex?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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