His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
