so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am spending my child support on dildos
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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