Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
