i jhust puked up my retainher.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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