I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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