just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
