It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
