Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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