dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
