I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
