My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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