i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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