Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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