Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
