Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
