Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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