I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
