I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
