Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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