Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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