So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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