did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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