Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
