And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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