So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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