I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
