Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
