For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
