Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
