Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
