office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
