I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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