your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
