8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Everyone says I win the strip club
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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