We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
