Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
