2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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