It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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