Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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