Joe is yelling at the trees again.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
