The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
