You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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