R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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