I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
