Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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