Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
