You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
